this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
