So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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