so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize