Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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