I'm drive I can fine osifer
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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