ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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