I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
