the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
