It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
