at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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