i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
