I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize