There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
