She announced her abortion via fbk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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