i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize