It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Your penis caused this!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
