Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
