oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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