At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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