butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
