I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
