Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
