I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
