I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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