I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
