By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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