Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
