I heard we made out
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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