he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
