i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
