Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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