Do you still have your period?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize