I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We smell like vodka and hangover
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
