I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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