so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
