Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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