I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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