I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
