I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My ass is underappreciated
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