He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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