it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
