If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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