Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
