I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
