I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize