sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
