nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
