I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
