dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
