Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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