I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
