I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
