Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
