That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
