Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
