Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
