I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
