I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize