do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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