YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize