This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
