Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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