peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
