just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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