The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
