Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
