BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
