All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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