Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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