I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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