Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Operation Purity has been aborted
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
