I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm like, not good at living.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
