Heybabeimwearingurpanties
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
