I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
