How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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