I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
