He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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