theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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