Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
