im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
