it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
