You're my little dorito
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
