roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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