Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
