Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I believe in your delicious
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
