is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
