No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
