when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
