You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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