walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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