So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
