Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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