I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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